Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

All DESIRABLE things im life are either :
ILLEGAL
BANNED
FATTENING
EXPENSIVE
OR
MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious

George Costanza

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus?!?! I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back, spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen.”

 - George Costanza

All DESIRABLE things in life are either :

Illegal

Banned

Fattening

Expensive

Or

Married To Someone Else